im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
