wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
