I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
