She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
