he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
