have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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