he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
