I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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