my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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