matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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