dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
