Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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