Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
