her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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