dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
