i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How's work?
Spinning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
