If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize