So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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