This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
