i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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