Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
