Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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