everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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