Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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