sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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