He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
