I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
