I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Farmville is her only friend.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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