I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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