1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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