I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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