I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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