His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
