My balls are so social today.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
