just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
