i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
