Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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