Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
