Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
