where am i from again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
