He is such a slut. More and more my type.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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