I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
