was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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