Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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