Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
