will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When are your genitals available?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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