Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
