she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
