Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
