ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
