i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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