I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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