I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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