Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
