You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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