just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
