So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
