Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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