i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
