Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize