Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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