Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
